Why You Should Let Hip-Hop Get You Over Heartache.

Why You Should Let Hip-Hop Get You Over Heartache.

It felt like a lie. Pursuing a man gave me a sense of desperation mixed with self-doubt, which can never lead to a healthy relationship. Most women I have spoken to feel the same way. Since the beginning of time men have been the ones to “hunt” female, knock us on the head with their clubs and drag us back to their caves. There is something engrained in us that tells us we must allure the men to chase us…so when put in the situation of being the one doing the chasing it goes against our human nature. So men, what is going on with your hunting skills lately? Why so aloof? Why flirt but then chicken out to ask for our number? Come on, hit us on the head already! Women love to feel wanted and needed. We want to know we are worthy of being sought out. The majority of the greatest movies (Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, etc) have story lines of men who will stop at nothing to get their girl.chat roulette slut This is what we want. Chase us.

Make us know you want us. And continue to pursue us after you “catch” us. Pursue who we are to the core. We want you really “know” us and love us for who we are. We want you to truly see what makes us tick. And we want you to continue to get to know us even after we have sealed the deal. So guys….tap into your instincts here. When you’re on the hunt take risks. Ask her number in a creative way. Slip her a note. Tell the bartender you want to buy her a drink, but don’t have him tell her who it’s from….then approach her later after she has had time to wonder a bit. Both subtle, but memorable approaches to pursue. If you are already in a relationship, keep pursuing her.

My father use to surprise my mom in random places by showing up unexpectedly. She would mention on the phone to him that she had to run to the store and then he would surprise her by finding her in the produce section. Simple and sweet, and very memorable. Little things like this make us feel wanted…which is what every woman needs. Behold her Beauty Since we were little girls, every woman desires for her father to tell her how beautiful she is. She wants to be noticed. This is why as girls, we all play dress up and as women, we love to get dolled up for a night on the town. We are all asking the question “Am I Beautiful?” and we want your response to be a resounding “YES you are exquisite!” So make your love interest feel beautiful. Tell her you notice her uniqueness. Compliment her on something (her eyes, hair, skin, etc), but genuine while making it about her (and not her outfit). Just please don’t be creepy or make it suggestive. As you get to know a woman additionally, you will discover her inner beauty. Don’t forget to let her know that you think she beautiful on the inside too. Adventureland All women have a sense of adventure. We love excitement and thrill as you do! It is also scientifically proven that if you share an experience where your adrenaline levels are raised this leads you to find the person you are with more attractive.

So give her a thrill! Do something slightly daring on a first date. Take her somewhere unexpected. One of my favorite memories with an old boyfriend is of us scaling fences to go explore an old abandoned restaurant. It was exciting and off limits, but we couldn’t really have gotten in too much trouble. It all made for an experience I still remember years later. So whether you’re trying to score your dream girl or woo your wife, remember these three tips and you will definitely be a step ahead! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, pursuit of love That’s quite a trouser snake you got there. If you have started to realize that your relationship is losing a bit of its passion and romance, you may well be comforted to know that this is perfectly normal, and happens in many relationships at some point or another.

Eventually, we all realize that we have to work to keep relationships passionate, but for many of us, it takes a bit of a romantic lapse to help us realize it! However, there are a quantity of different steps you can consider that can help you to avoid these types of lapses, and keep romance, passion and lust alive in your relationship. To some extent, you should simply consider many of these ways on your own, relative to your specific relationship and partner. However, here are a few basic tips of approaches to keep romance alive. • Stay in shape! People often joke about it – they feel the need to work out, eat right, wear makeup, dress nicely, etc.

Why Your Lover Will Never be Enough. Part Bleh…

when they are single, but as soon as they get into relationships they feel safe letting themselves go a little bit. However, let’s face it – we tend to be attracted to our partners the more in shape and healthy they are, so try not to lose your desire to work out and eat well just because you’ve found a partner. Staying in good shape means that you both stay as desirable as possible. • Don’t stop doing the little things that made you appealing in the first place. There are thousands and thousands of little gestures and acts throughout each day that keep a romantic tension and desire alive.

It may be something that’s simply polite and classy, like holding the door for your partner regularly, or something a bit more intimate, like rubbing his or her shoulders for a minute here and there. These things are easy to let slip, but they play a large role in maintaining a romantic connection, so it is important to continue to practice them. • Finally, don’t be afraid to try new things in the bedroom. For most long-term couples, a romantic connection is started largely in emotions and actions, but keeping your sex life active and dynamic certainly can’t hurt. This may just mean trying something new now and then, or it could mean experimenting a bit more, perhaps by ordering a product or two from a site like Adameve.com. Whatever your specific solution may be, do try to find approaches to “spice up” your sex life, as this can create new romantic sparks that keep your relationship working at its highest level. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: passion, Relationships It’s not just the pooper, ladies.topadultreview.com Women, listen up! This advice could save your marriage — even if it isn’t in jeopardy. It’s all about giving your man time to himself in his very own man cave.

We are different beings, men and women, and while women tend to gravitate toward their friends and social media for peace and order, men’s tendencies go the opposite direction — inward. So, what better than to offer him place for recluse? His own space with everything he likes. Is it fair? Yes. Just? Yep. If you would like to have a space to yourself, you can have one too. But as mentioned, men are different creatures and require a reset in some instances. If this is in the form of retreating to the garage, an office or music room then so be it. Guaranteed, he will come out a different man than when he went in.

So, be the best wife ever and ask him where he’d like his space to be and in case you can do anything to get it started, if he hasn’t already checked out the mademan manual for it. Why, do you ask? Why should you be helping him with this endeavor? Opposites Attract It’s a classic cliché for a reason— opposites DO attract. What you are missing, you want your partner to have and vice versa. But, what this means is that you both have to answer to your Doppelgänger (your alter ego, your inner evil twin). You might find that your spouse begins to help out a little more around the house because he has refreshed his spirit in this personal space. Whether he goes down to the basement outfitted with a library of video games and a ping pong table or he retreats to the garage to tinker around on his Alfa Romeo classic car for an hour or so, when you reunite, there will be a lesser veil of separation. Again, what about you and your space? Find something that you like too. Maybe a bubble bath by candle light with a glass of wine and a glossy magazine is your restart button. Or possibly sitting outside for a half-hour reading, playing with the cats for a little while each day or a weekly girls’ night out. He Just Might Long for You Give him freedom to be alone and he might just give you more love.

When the hubby comes home in the evenings after a long day, of course he wants to see you but at the same time he’s moody and sensitive, possibly short-tempered after having to keep his cool all day. What a better time than to retreat, do something he likes to do for a bit and then come to you, out from his man cave with a fresh mind and open heart (in theory). You Don’t Have to be concerned about Him With a Keg-O-Rator, old-school stand-up video games, football-shaped sofa, a dart board and a table made of beer bottles, your man can have the time of his life right at your own home. He can invite the guys over for a poker game, make a turtle burger (bacon, a hamburger patty, a few hot dogs and cheese all as a solid burger) or sit around and speak about his collection of neon beer signs he’s got hanging up on every inch of the room. At the end of the day, he’ll be safe and sound in bed with you, snoring like an old man. And you can sleep peacefully. Jack Du ponte A veteran from the Gulf War, Jack found out that he had a deep passion for food and grilling when he bought his first hibachi. Now his kids want dad to cook everyday of the week. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

How to Break Up With Someone You Still Love

Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Men Do it early for the sake of fuck, you nincompoop! There. Got that shit out the way REAL quick. Okay.

That’s it. Oh, did you want a actual article out of this? Okay. Fine. I’ll do you a kindness and pull one from the ol’ butt hole here. If you read this blog; if you know me then you know that kids are nonetimes treat for me. That is, while I like kids I don’t want any of my personal. A fact that has crushed existing and potential relationships alike. I’ve already talked about this a time or two, so I’m not going to get into the “why” of it all. I was asked on the Twitter what the best approach was to tell a woman you don’t want children. My gut instinct was to tell the guy to say this: “Look it’s not that I don’t want kids, I just don’t want kids with YOU, you see.” Solid stuff right there. Of course, if I guy doesn’t want his nuts kicked off of his body that response just doesn’t go over well. Trust me. Here’s a couple “Shouldn’t-dos” Don’t wait 2 years to have the “kids” conversation Romantically pursue women who have kids already. Dummy.

Tell a child-wanting woman how bad-ass a father you’d be. You don’t want to be a father, so don’t effing talk about it. Here’s a couple “Should-dos” Have the kids talk during the first few dates. At least see where she stands with them. Don’t lead a woman on. If you’re balls deep into… the relationship ( see what I did there?) don’t lie. Damage has and will be done. More will be done the longer you wait. Speak true to your heart and say you don’t want kids. I’m guilty of leading a woman on and pursuing women with kids at different points in my life. Sometimes desire and being impulsive really harshes a vibe. But this is who I am. I sometimes act on impulse. I just do.

I don’t like that I do, but I do. Pursuing women with kids is a no-no unless the mother i aware of your stance and you both know what the “end game” is. And EVEN IF YOU BOTH know what it is, don’t go through with it. Stop in  your tracks, both of you should walk away. Feelings have a way of mucking up something that should be simple. It’s the nature of the beast, kids. So don’t be a douchey dickhead like me and pursue mothers unless you’re hyper-really-extra-super-duper sure she’s on the same page as you. With respect to talking about children early on, it’s pretty fucking vital and should be taught in classrooms, but it, like the difference between fellatio and sodomy, were not taught to me as a child. Because of this I went into the world lacking some basic knowledge.

  You wanna know? Fine. Because I mistook fellatio for sodomy I spent a good half hour telling my best friend how I got sodomized by my girlfriend in a theater and that it was UHmazing. You imagine that can’t possibly be right. But, yeah, it was. And boy it was amazing… Until I realized that I’d been telling people that I’ve been getting rammed in the pooper by my girlfriend. Sigh. Moving on…   Welcome back! So, having the conversation early isn’t hard. In the early stages it’s to everyone’s benefit to be blunt.

Have the conversation on the first date… Within the first ten minutes if it makes sense. Because if you and your date are on different pages you’re wasting each others’ time. True, you both could share an amazing life together… for a brief time and then it’s over. So unless you’re a dick bag and enjoy disposable relationships where the woman doesn’t know what’s up, you should talk about this early. In case you needed some help broaching the conversation, I’ve come up with a few examples sure to get things rolling along. “ I can’t wait to have a kid so I can get back into Chuck E. Cheese again!” And keep talking about how you have the best candy. Always. Talk about your siblings (or lack thereof) and ask: “How big do you see your future family being?” You can always jokingly follow up with: “So, your vagina is a clown care, then? That’s a lot of fucking kids.” Seriously, though start with your family, siblings and ask her what type of family she wants and in case kids are in the cards for her.

Or just simply ask. Whatever her response, be confident with yours. You’re not a sick person; you’re not a social pariah; you just don’t want kids. And you know what? That’s okay. Just because all your and colleagues think you’re weird, that you’ll come around doesn’t mean anything; because you are one and they are many doesn’t mean they’re right. You have ONE, just ONE, chance to live this thing. Live it how you want. Don’t apologize for how you feel. Not having kids is okay. I know I don’t want them. Do I sometimes see two parents holding the hand of a chubby baby and wonder “what if?” Yeah, you bet. That’s normal and I’m okay with my stance.

It means that my field of eligible ladies is a lot slimmer; but I’ll take it anyway and so should you. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Self, Tips & Advice Tagged in: kids Sometimes there’s nothing to say… It’s commonly said by those bitter; by those smitten; by those naive and by all others who, frankly, annoy me, that “when you know, you know.” Fair enough. I agree with that generally accepted “true-ism.” You know what you know when you know it. Often this is applied to those that suddenly know the lover they carry a candle for is “the one.” That single moment in time where things just sorta makes sene. However, that “moment” isn’t reserved for just those times of joyous clarity. They, too, are applied to those other moments. You know what I’m talking about: “Oh my god, I married a drunken hobo that refuses to grow up!” Or “OMG!!! I married someone just like my dad!”  I realize that, for some, marrying someone like your dad is probably just fine.

For others, that’s not so fine (especially those who cry while giving BJs and lap dances at the strip club). So what am I getting at here? Moments of clarity, folks. They don’t happen often, given the mass amounts of info that assault our senses on a daily basis. It’s hard to cut through the clutter; it’s hard to figure out what requires our attention most. Just the other day, though, I had among those moments. My body had given itself to a Russian Vodka and an Herbalist that night. To be fair, I’d probably given too much of myself to these friends. But it was on my way home that I made some realizations. I wasn’t happy. In life, with myself, with my relationship and a whole host of other things. In this moment of booze and medicinal induced clarity I knew that I was lying to myself and to my girlfriend. I knew that what we had was not for the long-haul. There’s an expiration date and I didn’t want to see it or think of it. Why?

Because I am weak. It’s not because my girlfriend isn’t good enough. It’s a simple fact that our directions have different paths in life. I don’t want kids. She does. Here’s a little known fact, at one point, last year; we were expecting a baby. My girlfriend had become pregnant. My heart dropped. It was the last thing I’d wanted. Over the course of a few weeks, I grew to accept that I was going to be a father. I, like a good Republican backing a candidate in their own party that they hate, fell in line. I said all the right things to the right people. For my girlfriend, she couldn’t have been more overjoyed. This was going to be her moment to change her life; she would have a purpose.

For me, in reality, I loathed the notion of being a parent. It’s not a duty I wanted. For many, children certainly are a blessing. I am not one among the many, I’m afraid. A mere 10 weeks into the pregnancy, my girlfriend miscarried. I was there, with her, sharing tears and gut-wrenching angst over what had happened. We grieved together. More than anything though, I felt so awful for my girlfriend. She, of anyone I know, deserves a child. She’s amazing with them and would give of herself until there was nothing left and yet find approaches to give more.

That’s who she is.  As I held her embrace and felt her crumbling… Yet I could not help but feel… relieved. I know, I know. It’s absolutely terrible to say, but it’s the truth. That night I told her, one day we’d try again. Again, I was weak. I lied. I wasn’t strong enough to tell her “no, I don’t want to try again” especially given the fact we weren’t “trying” in the first place. No.

I don’t want children. My girlfriend should. Our time together is ticking away… Me, I’m not spending this time with someone of a similar mind and her not spending time with someone that wants to give her what she wants. Yet here I sit, tap faucet tap and I’m not doing anything about it…. At all. Is it just that I partook of too much drink and herb? Well, I did, but they merely helped me see the forest through the trees as I sit here, with an open and clear mind. I had just that. A moment…   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Relationships, Self Tagged in: breakups, the moment I was reading through the Twitterverse the other day when @lildevilmama, exasperated, posted tweet to the tune of “Guys really need to get their ‘order of operations’ of dating right. #datingfail.”  I laughed and cried and other silly stuff. I don’t know that @lildevilmama coined that term, but I’m going to say that she did.  The Order of Operations for Dating. What should they be? **Note** @lildevilmama also composed up a piece on this very subject as well that you should check out! Click the link! Math has an order of operations.

  It screwed me over more times than tequila and a girl with a dangerously large booty at the club… The order of operations in math can’t be effed with, so don’t try. Dating is like that, too.  That is, if you skip the “getting to know you” phase and skip to the “I want to biblically know you” phase then you’ll likely get punched, kicked, tazed and arrested and not necessarily in that order, of course… Some may even call it date rape.  So avoid the confusion and understand the general Order of Operations for Dating… Feel free to add your own here, kids.  I’m just going to put mine down and let’s see what every person thinks about it.