Death of the Single Me

Death of the Single Me

Share This Article Facebook49Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Featured Tagged in: text I’m going to roll up the sleeves and crack the knuckles here. I think this is generally area where I excel. Sure, I’m on a dating hiatus, but before that I was on a holy fucking terror of binge dating the likes of which were mildly, if on not entirely unimpressive… Whatever. Fuck off, will ya! So first impressions matter, as we’re told. That’s great, but hows does that help you? Find singles in your area now with a free 3-day trial at The Point. Get to it. Quickly. We live in world where we consume tons of information and make decisions in the blink of an eye. So it goes with online dating. Say “hello” and get her attention. Familiarity helps.

Saying something funny and non-threatening is good, too. Example 1: Hey there! Liked what I read here and saw you like Game of Thrones. Red Wedding… W.T.F!!!?? If you haven’t seen it, spoiler alert, every person dies! Example 2: I read through your profile and I gotta say, only my Freshman English Teacher made more use of the Oxford Comma than you. Oh my name is Alex! Grammar snob at your service! It’s Okay to Bring the Cheese.

Women like to be pursued, they like being chased and romanced, fawned over etc. Duh. Your mileage may vary with the cheesy approach; but if done well, you’ll display a sense of humor and a tender heart. a lethal combo if ever there was one… But it’s also easy to edge over into creepy/needy guy. Don’t be that fucker! Example 1: Look, you owe me 99 cents because your profile melted my heart like a snickers bar in a pocket on a hot summer’s day. Example 2: Between your profile and your photos, I have to say, you might be the prettiest girl in this part of the internet… Or just tell a joke… Example 3: How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool… Appeal to Her Interests Okay, you’ll see a huge number of women who like the same shit as you. Great! Right? Right! But you don’t want to be a fan boy.

You don’t want to be a puppy dog following its master around all day. It’s great if you find a woman who likes similar weird shit you do. But don’t over do it here. Simple acknowledgments go a long way, playa. Example 1: Hey there. I’m Alex. Totally dug the profile, you seem cool. Gotta say, hiking Half Rim was such an escape for me. How did your hike go? Let’s chat sometime. Example 2: Hi!

I noticed that we share a love of the ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!’ (not really). =)  – But seriously, we seem like a lot of the same movies/beers/things/shit etc. Be natural and poke fun; but don’t be creepy or needy but also be concise and to the point.. Most importantly have FUN! If you come off that you’re having fun, you’ll seem like fun. Real fun. Until next time Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook69Tweet0Pin2 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: messaging, Online Dating the Urban Dater is back with another addition of ‘Ask the Urban Dater,’ where you guys get to ask me a fucked up question and I give you an equally fucked up, or shittier, answer. Today’s question comes from an NYC socialite by the name of Stromhilda Viceroy Olmreaugarde, who manages a sticker store on w 23rd and 18th. She reminds you to say it with a smile… and a sticker. Whatever the fuck that means. Alrighty then, let’s get to it! There was a guy I had been messaging with back in November in hopes to help me move on from my ex. He would message me all the time and never ask me out. Finally before the holidays he did try to make plans. Alas, I was super busy getting ready to go Rotterdam.

So now I’m back and he’s been messaging all the while. This has been going on for so long that I’ve sort of lost interest and to tell you the truth I might need a little break from men. But, I feel like he’s asked me out so many times that I should at least go on one date. So I’m going out with him tomorrow night. How do I change my attitude about this? I’m not the type of person to show up and not have fun or act like a bitch. But I’m not really looking forward to it and that makes me feel guilty. Ever sensed like this? – Stromhilda Viceroy Olmreaugarde Just a thought, but it almost sounds like you’re going out with this fella cause you feel sorry for him. Perhaps. I mean, if you’re going out with him because he’s persistent. That’s a different story.

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But I’m reading this like you just don’t care all that much and you’re like “fuck it,” he asked, so I’ll go. It’s the least I could do I mean, I wouldn’t want to go out with a girl that felt sorry for me… Not even when I was going through my “sexual drought.” Okay, that’s a lie. I totes would have. It’s hard to snap out of that funk… Maybe you do need a break from the fellas… Maybe. I tend to think you just need a break from the wrong fellas.

It sounds to me that even though Holmes boy took a while to ask you out, he did reveal himself through his actions… I always say that actions tell the truth, so pay attention. If a person’s actions work to bring you together then that means something. That said, I say go out with him. Don’t put pressure on yourself and remember, there shouldn’t be an expectations here. Just two cool people going out for a drink, a bite and some memories. If you can manage that, the rest will work itself out just fine, dear. True fact. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Tips & Advice If you are a guy that finds gorgeous looking women irresistible then you are not in a minority – most, if not all, men can’t refuse beauty.

Being in the company of fantastic looking women who also have fantastic personalities is, to most men, like being in a utopian globe. We see movie stars with great looking women; we see the rich and famous posing for photographers’ with foxy women standing at their side and we watch ladies of ethereal beauty reading News reports on television every night. It is therefore no wonder that men ponder how to attract beautiful ladies. Here are a few tips that you might want to try. Tip #1 – Fashion: Dressing in the latest clothes that suits you is important. You must also dress correctly. If , for example, you have been invited to a high society dinner party make sure that your attire is appropriate. In short, use your wise practice. Always remember that women are attracted to men who dress well. Fashion sense also includes hairstyles and personal grooming. Needless to say, having your hair styled to suit your face is a given. Likewise, beards and moustaches should also look suitable. Tip #2 – Personality: How you conduct yourself in front of women is very important.

If you display silliness or ignorance, women will avoid you like a bad smell. However, if you display a pleasant and open-minded thought process, women as well as men, will enjoy your company. Having a witty and keen love of life will also increase your chances. Tip #3 – Have a healthy body: Some call it being narcissistic others say otherwise but having a healthy looking body is definitely a draw card for women. In this modern age of communication through portable computers, smart phones and digital cameras people put more emphasis on looks. Think about it; movie stars, flight attendants, Newsreaders as well as many public figures are mostly nice looking individuals. If a guy has an over weight corpulent body, he is not going to attract the girl of his dreams simply because to a woman he looks like a person that doesn’t take care of himself. Men think similar about women. So, with that thought in mind, check yourself out in the mirror and if you do look like you need a few weeks of training at your local gym; get down there and open a membership.

Your incentive to train is the thought of having a date with a super attractive woman. Taking up a martial art is another method of losing weight as well as gaining a skill. Tip #4 – Han an interesting lifestyle: OK, so you are asking yourself what I mean by an interesting lifestyle. Well, allow me to explain. If your lifestyle is basically getting up in the morning, heading to an office or factory, working for the man, coming home, eating dinner and crashing in front of a 40 inch TV with a can of beer in your hand then you can pretty much guarantee no beautiful woman is going to be hammering on your door. It is therefore important to have a lifestyle that is not mundane. If you feel your daily life is a rut, break out of it; kick routine in the butt and start anew. There are many actions you can take to turn your life around – join some sort of sports club (the aforementioned martial arts club is a good idea), take up a new hobby – writing poetry or stories is another idea. Creativeness is something women like. Anything you do that is either creative or sporty, women are instantly interested. You are touching their emotions and this is what women around the world want men to understand.

These are just four tips for men who want to know how to attract beautiful ladies. There are, no doubt, hundreds of other tricks or things a guy can do to win the admiration and desire of a woman. Sit down somewhere quiet and list them. You may surprise yourself. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: attract women, dating tips, how to attract girls Every day we associate and interact with people.  These people range from complete strangers to close friends and family.  The truth, however, is that even the people we think we know and trust may not be who they say they are.  Performing a background check is a simple and easy method to verify that those we trust in various aspects of our lives are who they claim to be and that they are not hiding anything from us.

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  Here is a list of the top 5 people you should be running background checks on to ensure the safety of yourself and your family members. New Boyfriend or Girlfriend Meeting someone new is always exciting and feels like a fresh start, but you want to make sure that the person you are getting a fresh start with is actually who they say they are.  There is no place where this is truer than in an online relationship.  As more and more relationships are forming online, the need for background checks is increasing.  With the rampant rise of “catfishing” on social networking sites it has become very hard to trust that someone you have met online is actually who they claim to be.  The highly publicized case of football player Manti Te’o really shed a light on the seriousness of this “catfishing” problem and how even high-profile athletes can be fooled.  Mr. Te’o could have saved himself a lot of public embarrassment and controversy had he simply done a people searchon a background check site.  While background checks are helpful and almost imperative for online relationships, they also work for traditional relationships because you just never know if the person you’re with is telling you the whole story.

Neighbors It’s always important to know that you live in a safe community.  This is how you have a home and your family lives and sleeps every night.  It is much easier to sleep at night knowing that you live in a safe neighborhood and that your family is safe.  Background check websites make it easy to check your neighborhood and surrounding area for any registered sex offenders.  You could think you know who your neighbors are, but these are the people living next to you and your family and wouldn’t you want to be sure they are safe. Coaches Coaches are frequently interacting with your children and it’s often when you are not around.  Recent sex scandals involving sports coaches or mentors and young children have brought national focus on the issue of child predators in coaching roles.  Most notably, the Jerry Sandusky scandal at Penn State University showed how truly dangerous a sex offender may be if they get into a position of power.  Since Sandusky, there have been multiple cases involving coaches exploiting their positions to victimize children.  This is a real threat and running a simple background check on a coach or leader of your child’s group can go a long way to providing you some peace of mind, as well as safety for your child. Teachers Much like with coaches, teachers are around your kids too, except they are with them almost every day.  Just like with a coach you would want to do a background check on a teacher to make sure that your child is safe in the presence of that person, but there are also other reasons to background check a teacher.  This is the person teaching your child and instilling ideas and values into them.  It never hurts to run a check on someone who has that form of influence over your children. Yourself But you know already everything about yourself, right? Well unfortunately you could be very wrong.

All of the information that you’ve been digging up on other people could pertain to you as well. It’s always good to know what kind of information about you is accessible to the public, and running a background check on yourself can let you know swhat you need to address. Not forgetting, it is a great way to learn more about the area you’re currently surviving in as well. Background checks give detailed crime reports about metropolitan areas and you can find out what is going on around you, or where you are planning on moving or visiting. Background checks can be helpful in many .  There are countless situations where they can be used to realize important information on the people you interact with.  However, if you don’t have the time or energy to perform background checks in every situation; make sure that you at least take a few minutes to run checks on these people while making sure that you and your loved ones are safe and protected. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: background checks, dating safety, dating tips, Online Dating I’m feeling like the Mad Men Posters as I sit alone in my apartment drinking my third juice of the day. I am a juice monster at the end of the world. I sat under a sign which read “Columbia Commencement 2015”, and I can’t believe I’m about to watch my sister walk down the heralded way into adulthood. My graduation was a blur of alcohol and wishing I wasn’t going and lying in bed next to my sister and wondering, “Should I just end it all?” Now I get to play the reverse role on the opposite side of the bed.

When my ex-boyfriend graduated, we went over to one of his friend’s houses and I remember seeing all the moving boxes stacked up like a 3-D maze. The maze eventually result in pizza in the kitchen (obviously the only basis for me to be there). A feeling of transience covered up by trying to get the last cheese slice and look attractive while I nomm-ed my face off. Every person seemed sad, and perhaps my ex-boyfriend was sad, although, we were going to do long-distance so there wasn’t much to be sad about, right? Flash forward three years to yesterday. I have scheduled to see my ex at a coffee shop (although we ended up ordering food). The minute we got our food, I began crying. “There she is!” And there I was, crying into my salad for nearly the entire two-hour timeframe. On and off, of course, because I DO HAVE DIGNITY. We didn’t finish the chips and guac, because both of us didn’t want to look like a fat-asses. Every time I got up (to get water, to go to the bathroom, to get more dressing), I wondered–does he think I look fatter? I finally asked, “Do you think I look fat?” And he said he didn’t think I looked fat. THE CLUMSY DETECTIVE UNCOVERS ANOTHER CASE.  I wonder if it makes both of us feel better that I cry when I see him because it means our relationship still matters. He has a new girlfriend who he described as “kick–ass”. I thought, “Operator, Operator.”  I reiterated that I had dated no one since him and would likely die alone. We had a good laugh about that one.

  When we hugged goodbye, it felt like a blessing as both of us wandered good directions into the finally warm NYC day. It is a sad and freeing moment when you realize that you are not the “one that got away”; that your former person has found another person that they ACTUALLY are happy with and like better than you and would be a better fit for long-term and it is all good!  All of a sudden, I realize, “OMG, I’m not going to get a text back all the time.”  And the endless highway of life looks longer and longer; the horizon line seems to disappear into the distance; wipe your hands on your pants and get back on social dating apps, Alex, cause there’s a sucker born every minute and one of them could be my new boyfriend! But then…. I met all these cool, smart, savvy, aspiring, talented girls and then I meet their boyfriends. All of them seem to be  these overweight boys with yellow teeth who seem to be potential alcoholics and “Wouldn’t it be safer to live a life of monastic devotion to your fine self?”   Perhaps, you are sensing superiority from the lonely, and I AM SUPERIOR, BECAUSE I AM LONELY, AND I HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO CLUTCH ONTO BEFORE I GOT TO SLEEP WITH UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT ON. Of course: I don’t know these guys: they could be upstanding, awesome dudes with lot of interesting ideas and great careers and incredible respect for their female partners! However, I notice a trend of women being willing to date down.   Physically, the “Dad Bod” is praised, while no one seems to want to see the “Mom Bod”, much less date it.   When a straight guy is spotted on OKCupid, the thought primarily in my mind is, “What’s the insecurity here?” Because no secure straight guy in NYC would have to deign for internet dating apps, the world is their stock exchange. So, it’s cool I’m single, right? Right?   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Women, Relationships Tagged in: exes If it seems as if every person has tried online dating, you’re not alone. According to a study done by Pew Research Center, 11% of American adults—and 38% of those who are currently “single and looking” for a partner—have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps. The general public’s attitudes towards online dating have become much more positive in recent years, and now with social networking sites playing a prominent role when it comes to navigating and assisting romantic relationships, online dating usage is at an all-time extreme. To gain a little understanding of what makes people tick when it comes to online dating, here are secrets to the sensation and why you aren’t truly picking your “perfect match.” A professor of Women’s Health and Clinical Epidemiology at the Queen May University of London School of Medicine and Dentistry, named Khalid Khan, poured through 86 studies to find out why he wasn’t lucky in love and found out that his profile on dating sites was one of the main issues. Users who chose screen names starting with letters toward the beginning of the alphabet got more clicks than those who used screen names that started with the last the main alphabet. So, if your name starts with the letters, A-M, you have a great shot at being noticed. Now to the profile picture.